Skin
by Latenightsgunfights
Summary: Gavin wants to see Nines deactivate his skin, but he's too afraid to ask.


It was a curious thought, quite different from his usual musings or inappropriate day dreams. Gavin guessed it hadn't really occurred to him until now, how ever inappropriate this moment may be for daydream sessions.

Nines, his android partner and not-quite-boyfriend, was on top of him, impeccably strong hand gripping both wrists and holding them firmly behind his back, hips thrusting against the human over and over. The android had leaned down, so his lips were close to Gavin's ear, growling something that would of made Gavin whimper in want had he not noticed the peculiar patches of white tailing down the androids neck before slipping out of Gavin's field of vision. He was about to mention it, or, in his current state, moan something unintelligible, before he felt Nines teeth at his neck. He moaned, eyes rolling back, and stored the thought away for later.

The thought had returned to him as he cleaned himself off in the shower, rubbing away dirt and sweat; continuing to pester as he half heartedly tousled his hair and body and crawled, still slightly damp, into bed where his lover lay. Nines hair was roused slightly from its usual slick style, but there was no other indication of their previous intercourse in the androids appearance. Nines seemed rather relaxed, lounging and petting the cat who had found her way under the sheets and lay curled in a little bun shape. Gavin rested his head against the synthetic chest, now covered by a loose shirt, any previous white patches covered by perfect pink skin. He let out a breath, drawing idle circles with his fingers on the androids chest. Nines covered them both with a blanket, before resting his hand on the middle of Gavin's back and continuing to run idle fingers through the cats white fur.

Gavin's mind wandered again as he watched his supposedly intimidating android act so gentle. His musings turned to Hank and Connor. Had Hank ever seen Connor without his skin? It was definitely a question he wanted the answer to; though it seemed to weave its way into his own relationship, and he didn't want Hank to pry. Or worse, Connor to pry. Gavin thought back to the android he lay against. What if he doesn't trust me enough? He knows I haven't always been ok with androids. The thought made his heart stutter, the idea of Nines not feeling safe around him hurting him more than he thought it would.

"Your heart rate has increased."

It was said matter of factly, Nines making no attempt to move anything except his hand, which had now begun to lightly rub Gavin's back. Gavin buried his face into his chest.

Nines, despite his obvious curiosity, didn't fucking patient. In that moment, Gavin knew he didn't deserve the relationship he had, knew Nines didn't deserve a man who, even in their most intimate moments, could only think about the things they hadn't said, hadn't done. Gavin clenched his eyes shut, suddenly insecure, everything about himself suddenly making him cringe, self hatred lacing its way through every cell.

So, in a very Gavin manner, he brushed it off.

"I told you not to fucking scan me."

The words where muffled, his face still buried, but he knew Nines would pick them up with his super android hearing or something. Gavin spared a moment from his hatred fueled inner monologue to peek up at the androids face. Nines, as expected, was blank, though his brows seemed more furrowed than usual. He seemed to inhale sharply, as a human would in shock or irritation, though Gavin knew that was impossible.

"I trust it was to your liking?"

Gavin could of screamed if it wasn't for the little self restraint he had left. "No! No, it's not that."

"So it is something."

Gavin groaned aloud, having realized he'd been tricked, every fiber in his body conjoining in a collective effort not to throw the android out. Nines, for the most part, seemed rather pleased with himself. Of course he is.

Gavin didn't want Nines to know that he was even more of a selfish prick than most assumed, was that too much to ask? Was a simple, awful, nosy fact about himself too much to keep buried under harsh glares and cigarette smoke? Apparently so. "Fuck."

It seemed so simple, and yet managed to carry such a tremendous weight. Can I see you without your skin? No that's creepy. It seemed so personal, and since becoming deviant Gavin was aware that androids seemed to refrain from showing their 'true selves', preferring a more human appearance. He felt almost guilty. He hated himself for wanting this. Even if Nines were to show him, an anxious part of Gavin's brain seemed to loudly declare: what if you hate it? What if you're disgusted? What if it finally reminds you that you're fucking a machine? What if you can't handle that? He hated himself because even as 'it' became 'he' and punches became kisses he couldn't trust himself not to cast Nines aside like he did everything else. He hated himself because Nines was the only good thing to happen to him in a long time and Gavin didn't want to ruin it like everything else in his life.

Gavin shifted, slowly moving until he was sitting upright on his knees next to Nines. The android had sat up simultaneously, and was now looking at him with a gentleness he was undeserving off, slowly blinking at him with and unreadable yet obviously caring expression, unbearably patient. Self consciousness ran through Gavin's frame. Fuck, don't look at me like that I'm disgusting.

He took a deep breath, biting his lip. "Listen tin ca-Nines! I know I'm an asshole and I get it if you don't trust me but I was wondering why I've never seen you deactivate your skin?" The words where rushed, Gavin looking away as he said them, barely sparing Nines a glance when he finished. His face was flushed, and he felt as if he was asking too much. Too much.

Nines was still staring at him, slowly blinking, LED spinning a soft gold.

"I assumed you wouldn't wish to see me that way, I am aware you have not always thought of androids as you do now." Nines was calm, no rage, no upset, and Gavin breathed slightly easier, but the implications of Nines words left him pained. His thoughts turned to Connor, and any other android he'd encountered before Nines.

Gavin found himself at a loss for words, unable to deny his past bigotry, worry that the android would never truly trust him enveloping him like a thundercloud. Gavin just shrugged, afraid to speak.

Nines sensed his discomfort and leaned forward, placing a cool hand on Gavin's cheek, smooth thumb brushing his stubble with a gentleness Gavin assumed impossible. "I can deactivate my skin if you wish Gavin, I am just concerned about your reaction."

No. That was somehow worse. Gavin felt as if he'd forced Nines to show him, and it just made the guilt stronger. He wanted to laugh it off, to swear and spit insults and pretend this entire conversation didn't happen. But it was too late for that now. He moved his head out of Nines comforting hands

"Don't bother Nines, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking asshole. I guess I saw Connor and Hank and wondered why we didn't have that. I hate it that you don't trust me but it's no one's fault but my own."

Nines seemed genuinely confused, and moved his hand to Gavin's face again. The android leaned in, kissing him, and Gavin felt his muscles react to the comforting embrace without his consent. As they kissed, Gavin felt Nines shift and opened his eyes. He pulled away in shock.

His eyes met bare white plastic, reflecting the minimal light in the room. Gavin reached up, feeling the smooth plastic with calloused fingers. His hands moved, touching the section of revealed chest, running his thumbs along perfectly prominent collarbones. Then they joined hands, and Gavin marveled at the gorgeous contrast between skin tones. Fuck, he's beautiful. Gavin then met his eyes, the gorgeous blue eyes, and immediately recognized the man he likes. No love. Gavin loved him. Fuck.

Gavin grinned at the perplexed looking android, and kissed him again.


End file.
